I MESSED UP
by WiTnEss41
Summary: Freddie is living a life style that he shouldn't want and cant see that he needs to get out, when a life changing event sends him on a crash course with destiny returning him to his home town and facing his demons.
1. It starts

**Ok here we go this is my first story I've ever published to let anyone read ever that wasn't for a class so sorry if it sucks but hey whatever.**

**warning this story will have violence drugs and sexual activity probably not any actual sex details but implied maybe discussed throughout not sure yet but thought I would go ahead and warn you anyway. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Icarly  
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><p>In a dark alley on an overcast night nothing stirs as Fredward Benson slowly makes his way down the alley carrying a large duffel bag around his shoulder making sure that no one is following him checking every corner he comes to. Slowly puffing on his black n mild cigar and having this unshakable feeling that something is off. He knew that he shouldn't be doing what he is, but that was his whole life anymore, just a string of events that he just can't seem to get out of. Finally he stopped in back of a rundown apartment building taking another slow long puff off his smoke his mind kept racing at a rate of a mile a minute thinking to himself all the ways that he has ended up in this alley as his mind wandered his trembling hand started to reach into his side feeling the outline of a holster just to be sure that he had his hand gun on him. Any time he did a job he always carried it with him even though he had never actually used it for anything except a few pot shots here and there. Another drag brings him to the moment he left Seattle and came to this city to attend college man things had really changed in the past 6 years he had dropped out of school and completely lost contact with anyone from his past which was probably best considering his current profession and what he had done to those that he left behind no it was definitely better for him to not be there anymore. The next drag brings him to the thoughts of earlier this evening and how he had gotten this particular drop tonight.<p>

**Flashback**

Freddie was sitting on the couch in his living room flying high as he played a random computer game with some random women passed out next to him. He didn't know what it was but every time he had sex anymore he couldn't sleep he would just stay up and either plays a game or does some non sensical activity that had no real point and never accomplished anything. While playing through some boring level he looked to the side of his computer next to the computer on his coffee table was a glass mirror and while looking into the mirror he noticed how shaggy he looked with his hair being almost long enough to have a small pony tail and a scruffy shadow lining his face it wasn't full on mountain man style beard but still if he thought back to when he was younger he had always been so well maintained and groomed something that his mother had always insisted upon. Freddie then just shrugged his shoulders and went back to his game when the door burst open. And standing there with two goons was his boss Frankie "the pick".

Freddie was a little shocked as Frankie usually never came to anyone's home he usually only summons people to see him it doesn't work the other way around. "Hey Frankie what's up"

"Just came to see my favorite delivery boy. I see that you have been busy tonight haven't ya" as he says this a small smirk creeps across his face as he eyes the unconscious blonde girl on the couch. He whispers something to goon number one who slowly walks over to the couch grabs the girl and carries her to Freddie's bedroom "This way we can talk a little more privately without having to worry about the girl over hearing out shop talk eh"

Freddie just nods "Oh well that's cool… uh can I get you anything Frankie a drink, a smoke anything? Maybe?" while asking Freddie comes to his feet to show respect only to realize that his pants are still down around his ankles. His face flushes over the embarrassment and he quickly bends down to pull his pants up while Frankie slowly approached him coming to be right in front of him with him looking up at Frankie.

"Well there is one thing you could get me" with that Freddie shot upright so that he could be face to face with his boss.

"What's that Frank?" as soon as the last syllable was out of his mouth he was struck with a strong slap to the face then another in a sweeping backhand motion the ring on his hand slicing Freddie's cheek open slightly.

"You can get me my FUCKING MONEY; you know the money you stole from your last delivery"

"But I didn't take any mon..." he was cut off with another smack

"Don't treat me like an idiot because I am definitely not a fucking idiot okay Freddie you thought you could skim from the top" while speaking he started to use a high pitched mocking tone "a little here a little there oh Frankie makes so much money he will never even notice the little bit that I have taken for my own greedy self. Well Freddie you can't you dumb, arrogant, little son of a bitch that was my motherfucking money and I want my fucking money back or you will just have to find out first hand why they call me the pick, got it Freddo" just as he finished his tirade he threw a punch straight into Freddie's gut making him curl over only being held up by Franks grip on his hair, and all Freddie could think is that maybe the long hair wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Yeah Frank I got it and I'll get you your money I just need a couple of days" as he spoke Frank raised Freddie back to the standing position and had started to rub the back of his hand on Freddie's cheek staring into his eyes with this strange pouty face that he did sometimes when he was thinking.

"See Freddie now I don't know why you have to be like that and make me have to punish you. It does not please me to have to do that but you really left me no choice at all now did you" Freddie shook his head no while still being caressed be Frank "Fine fine take few days, in the mean time I need you to take a delivery of our finest to Murph, and this time I better get the entire load of cash got it"

"Yeah I got it Frank" with that a smile came to Frankie's lips as Frankie started to cup his cheek.

"now I still don't get why you would want to steal from me Freddie I mean who took you in when you were living on the street penniless and taught you the business, Who provided all the clothes on your back, who gave you everything even love and affection huh, who did that for you?"

"You did Frank"

"That's right and are you going to try anything this stupid again in the future"

"No Frank never again"

"I know you won't, now let's go ahead try a little sample to of the delivery product before you go" with that goon number two threw a large duffel on the mirror on the table and Frank took out a little baggie filled with white powder dumping a small pile onto the table and grabbing the razor blade I had on the table and started to make four lines of about equal size. Then he took out a small tube and handed it to Freddie gesturing towards the table. Freddie took it bent down and made two of the lines disappear just like that and handed the tube to Frank who then did the same. Frank then rose to his feet and Freddie did the same. Once standing Frank took Freddie into an embrace and as he pulled away from the he kissed Freddie.

"Goodbye Freddie" with that he released his grip and took his goons out the door turning one more time wryly smiling back at him then he was gone. And Freddie collapsed onto the couch and took a deep breathe.


	2. Deal done Wrong

**chapter 2 has arrived if anyone is out there or cares. never really done this before so can't guarantee any kind of time frames on updates if they happen I am a busy person and only write when I have time**

**thanks if you are reading this  
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**don't want to be a review whore here but would appreciate some feed back as to whether anyone is actually reading so if you are so inclined go ahead and review.**

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><p>So here I stand outside this apartment complex about to do what I always do get the order and then make the drop of the smack get the money and return to Frankie and get my cut. This is how it has been for the past 4 years and I don't think I can do anything else now he won't let me I know far too much about his criminal enterprise to ever let me leave I'm stuck, but there are worse places to be stuck at least I get all the drugs I can do and plenty of money my mistake was thinking I could embezzle a little off each deal to try and save up enough to make a break for it and hide for the rest of my life. That obviously can't happen now or ever so better make the best of it. With that I took the final drag on my black n mild and flicked it into the street turning towards the building looking straight into what my life had become an endless string of random apartment tenements and low level dealers that I sold to so they could take the product delude it and then sell the diluted stuff to the masses. Boy mom sure would be proud of my.<p>

Entering the first set of doors I see that the hallway is cluttered with people smoking pipes and shooting up with whatever drug they had available to them a few started asking me if I could spare some cash or even if I was holding each time I would politely decline the request and continue into the building. Finally I reached the main apartment in the building it literally took up half the building by itself. Knocking on the door I noticed a few of the transients looking to me and whispering back in forth. Obviously they had been here a few times while I stopped by because I distinctly heard one say "the mule is here, good drugs will be available soon" man I need to start watching myself, these are not the kind people that you want to be able to recognize you.

Just as I was finishing my mental note the slide door that was at the level of the face opened and asked who I was looking for I just turned rolled my eyes and yelled "Damn it Murph just open the damn doo so I don't have to stand in this hallway all f'ing night." With that the door swung opened and there stood Murph, a scrawny looking guy with wild blonde hair and for some reason always wearing a robe, Murph quickly took me into a hug pulling me inside closing the door behind me.

"Fred my 14th best friend in the whole world I am so very very happy to see you man… and not just because you're carrying my H either just that your presence is in my presence lifts my aura like 10 experience points man seriously I mean that."

"Murph as usual I have no fucking idea what the hell you are talking about but whatever it's nice to see you and it is just because you have money for the drugs I have by the way" we both laughed ad he embraced me again saying how funny I was, even though I was completely serious.

We went into what was as close to a living room as the place had and I set my duffel on the table and slide the zipper open and show Murph what it was I had brought "here it is your order for 5 kilos of our best black tar heroin valued at about $150,000 dollars a key so for the bag I would need $750,000 right now and don't try and give me a story because Frank is not in a generous mod right now trust me."

"Freddie your doubt in me is unfounded and erroneous my friend would I ever try to jerk you around I mean seriously we used to be roommates the 2 years we went to school brotha come on now what is up with the negativity I don't like in in my home you know that so leave that nasty shit at the door please huh"

This was true Murph and I did share a dorm room for two years in fact I'm the one who got him into the business when we were expelled from school because we were both doing too many drugs to actually go to class and now he was the biggest commercial dealer in the city and I was the 'the mule' for the biggest drug lord in the state delivering his product to the dealers who sold to the masses.

"Alright man whatever you say but I will need to see the money first you know how it is" Murph just smiled and went into a back room and came back with two rather large duffel bags and he opened them up showing me that he had the cash on hand to which I just smiled and nodded while counting the money in the bags.

Twenty minutes later it came out to the total of seven hundred and fifty thousand like it was supposed to "looks like it is all here and this bag is all you're here you go friend" as I started to gather the bags of money Murph grabbed me and sat me in a chair and pointed his hand toward a mirror that was now on the table with four rather large lines laid out.

"Come on man you have to help me do a sample run... come on I know that you want to" I was rather high already from my morning activities but Murph just isn't the kind of guy that you can say no to so I just smirked and took one of the hundreds out of the duffel full of cash rolled it into a tube shape and took up one line as I felt the burn up my nostril I grabbed my nose and snorted a few more times to get it through my sinuses and then repeated the process with the second line and handed the tube to Murph who did the same thing.

I then unrolled the hundred and placed it back in the bag.

In this time Murph had started pacing around the room like a crazy person muttering to himself and continually saying "Man you gotta realize that business is not personal man just look at the companies out there capitalizing on the weak investors and stupid people just taking their money they see it the same way I do some times man business is business and you can't take that shit personally man you feel that well do you man do you feel that you know that business is just about business and it has nothing to do with you or me or any thin that has to do with being friends sometimes as a business man you get in over your head and have to do shit you know man, even though it may not be the best for some people involved it's just business man just business you know what I mean or what man" I just took him in his ramblings were concerning

"Well man I guess bu….."

just then he started up again "business is no place for a friend ship man no place even though friendships are important business is business and if someone won't do business sometimes you have to make them do business man you know!" with that last statement he slammed his fist down on the table causing everything to move just slightly and that is when I notice that right next to his hand under a magazine was a pistol that was pointed directly at me. I just stood there frozen in my place while staring at the gun, how had I missed that on the table was it there the whole time. As my mind searched the possibilities my eyes slowly drifted up towards Murph who had also noticed that the gun had come uncovered and at that moment tour eyes locked together and I pleaded to him with my eyes why man why? The next few seconds went really fast as I saw him start to reach for the gun I grabbed at my 1911 pistol and drew. We both had our guns pointed at each other my hand slightly trembling at the weight of the gun and the gravity of the situation I have found myself in. "why are you doing this man I thought we were friends man" Murph just took his free hand and rubbed his chin "we are friends man we are but I'm in trouble and this is the only way out man Frank said he would clear all my debts if I just took you out of the equation man, so you see it's like I was saying friendships have no bearing in the business world man none."

"But we don't have to do this just put the gun down we can figure this out just put the GUN DOWN!"

"Can't do that Freddie I just can't do that"

In that instance we once again locked eyes and in that single moment that couldn't have lasted more than five seconds I felt a strange calming come over me as I knew what was going to have to happen in this instance. I took a slow deep breathe in and slowly exhaled releasing it from my lungs BANG…BANG…BANG…BANG, and it all went black.


	3. Run Run

**Hello again to anyone still bothering to rad this story sory for not updating havent had internet for gasp the last three months and also had a bout of menengitas just a tip don't get that it sucks yall.  
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_**I OWN NOTHING I SWEAR**_** IT!**

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><p>The Black was soon replaced with a flash of light and blonde curls attached to a face of unforgiving grief and anger directed squarely at me I turn to get away as to not face the interminable sadness that I had inflicted upon the one I care for so deeply only to see a tall brunette with a knowing look of shame and disgust on her face. A single tear dropping from her eye as she turns into the embrace of her wacky brother who is only shaking his head looking right through me, I try and explain myself to them but they just fade away as I run to the darkness. On my run I bump in to my best guy friend the shirtless wonder himself who only gives me a couple of solemn words "It's all the things you do". He then fades into the darkness without me being able to tell him how much of a brother he was to me or how much I missed them all or how sorry I was for it all. It doesn't matter now does it?<p>

My eyes jerked open and I realized that I was in fact still alive unfortunately I could not say the same for Murph I had put one in his head between his eyes and two center mass. Execution style great, way to go Freddie way to go as I took in the scene the reality of it all started to set in "oh shit" my hands one still holding the gun that was now a murder weapon to my face. Shit, shit, shit, what am I going to do I can't go home I can't go to Frank fml man.

I am officially a dead man walking. Just then as I was squatting still with my hands running though my hair I noticed the drugs and money sitting on the table. I quickly zipped both bags up throwing both mine and Murph's guns into the bags and slung them over my shoulders and headed for the door as my hand reached for the door knob I stopped. Wait if I go out the front all those freaking junkies are going to see me and the cops will break them like little toothpicks and have me in no time flat I need a different way out. Just then I heard the faint sound of a siren, of course this is the one time the police decide to promptly respond to a call of gun fire in this neighborhood. I scanned the flat searching for any way I could possibly escape before I saw it a fire escape perfect. I ran to the fire escape cutting through Murph's room seeing in his corner that he had an ak-74 with a couple of clips. I figured that it could be useful at some point and because they are really just cool I quickly took it apart not that hard, thank you to the Russians for making firearms so simple to take apart, and stuffed it in with the drugs.

As I climbed out onto the fire escape a small smile came across my lips man I have always loved fire escapes they have always been good to me, I shook my head as I didn't have time for that sentimental bull right now and started my descent down the ladder getting to the bottom and dropping into a dark alley. I took off running with no real direction I just needed to get the hell out of there and get to a safer area and then I needed to get the hell out of this town. I kept running and running for what seemed like twenty to thirty minutes until I finally slowed to a =walk and crept through yet another alley. Coming to a stop next to a couple of trash cans I started to think about what had just happened, oh my god I just killed one of my best friends at that moment the gravity hit me again and my dinner decided to make a reappearance as I started to puke like crazy heaving harder than I have ever heaved in my whole life. Once the urge to toss my cookies started to pass I slid onto the ground realizing that I had really taken another human life not pretend not theory not a treat I had actually pulled the trigger and taken a life away from a living person and it could never be given back and I could never take it back. I'm a murderer a cold blooded murderer and I'm going to be a murderer for the rest of my life. I was shaking so hard I looked up and saw that the sun was starting to rise and relied that I was carrying two bags of drugs, drug money and, illegal firearms I need to stash them and I need to stash them now. Taking in my surroundings I noticed I was behind a church. Slowly I got to my feet man it was tough to stand up running must have taken a lot out of me. Just above my head there was a ventilation shaft so I pulled the cover off and shoved the bags into the vent and replaced the cover. While doing this reaching motion over my head I noticed a sharp pain to the side of my gut looking down I saw that I was in fact bleeding and bleeding pretty good. Fucking Murph must have gotten me in the side, but with all the adrenaline and all the drugs I had taken I couldn't even feel it but I could definitely feel it now that was for sure. I put my hand over the wound and started to walk out to the street to find a way to a doctor or something. I wasn't really sure where I could even go and be safe. With every step I took the next became that much harder and things started to get hazy and I was starting to have some trouble focusing on where I even was. I thought I saw some doors but I wasn't really sure, so I just kept going forward stumbling into and around everything before my legs finally couldn't carry me any farther and I just collapsed onto the floor and it all faded away.

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><p><strong> Review if you feel like it <strong>

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	4. A Priest?

**well here is ch 4 thanks to those who have offered words of encouragement it is appreciated. any suggestions or comments are always welcomed as I'm really flying by the seat of my pants except for a general outline of major plot points for this.**

**so here it is ch 4  
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_**I OWN NOTHING**_

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><p>Light slowly started to filter into my eyes as I started to stir from my rest. As my eyes opened I took in the pale walls and colored panes of glass above my head, I tried to sit up and that's when I realized that I indeed had a bullet hole in the side of my stomach and immediately yelled out and fell back down onto the bed. It was then the door opened and a rather tall man draped in a black robe entered the room and took a seat next to my bed. He just sat there and observed me for several moments nodding and looking my over from head to toe. "I am glad to see that you have awakened my son, you had me worried there for a while. At any rate you should be out of the woods now and as long as you keep that wound of yours there clean you should be just fine and make a speedy recovery." I just sat there in the bed not sure what exactly to make of this man, sitting up to a twinge of pain I still had not uttered a single word. The mystery man just grabbed my shoulders to steady me. "Where are my manners? My name is Father Calhoun and you stumbled into my church four days ago in quite the bad condition uttering all kinds of crazy madness of terrible people and things. Soon after you wandered into the church you made me promise one thing and only one thing and that was to let no one know of your being here and I felt that if you were in that bad of a condition but could still make that kind of a request, well obviously it was the will of the lord and I followed your request. You are just lucky that I served as a medic in the military for a number of years before my time as a member of the clergy." I just sat there thinking who the hell is this guy and what the hell is going on and that's when it all came rolling back to me the deal that went bad at Murph's place and how I had murdered him, how I am now a killer just a killer forever. I was so deep I thought I had not noticed the priest get up and get a pot of tea and pour two cups and as he was handing me a cup I was pulled from the deep haunting thought of the trigger pull that will never leave me. As I reach out for the cup my hand was shaking so hard that I had to use the other hand just to steady it momentarily before I could compose myself. "Thank you for everything I really do appreciate it my name is" just as I was about to tell him my name he threw his hand up. "Considering the nature of the wound that I just treated for you my son I think that it will be best that I know as little as possible about whom you actually are besides you know generalities, so no names on your part. That way I can be ignorant to any questions that may arise at any later point. Do you understand?" I just slowly nodded my head.<p>

"So I've been out for the last four days and you have just been tending to my wounds for what?"

"Ha Ha, Ha, my son you were obviously brought to me for this reason I was meant to help you I require nothing from you it is just my mission in life to help those who need my help, the lord brings them to me and then I help them it is how it work I do not question it, although if you really wanted to do something there is one thing that I would ask." "Oh so there is a catch there is always a catch when you are dealing with people, so what do you want money?"

"No I don't want money I want you to find happiness and piece in your life. You need to take this event and make something happen to go in a different direction for yourself because you are quite clearly heading in the wrong direction and you are going to be making a clean start somewhere so try to make it a good one." I just laughed at his ability to read the situation that I was in, slowly sipping my tea and running one hand through my long hair I pondered where I should go and what I should do now. "Well father if I knew where I was going I would say yeah why not go for the happy ending but, I haven't a clue as to where my life is heading and I'm hanging on for dear life right now so I guess I am open to suggestions. I couldn't really hurt right."

"Well my son I would say that you chase that love you lost so long ago and you go home again."

"What…how... the…how do you know about that!?"

"Well you kept mumbling names in your sleep one more than others I assume they are friends from the past and a past love most likely."

"Well god damn father that is fucking spot on" father Calhoun just looked at me with a vicious gaze

"Language my son language we are in the lord's house please do not be disrespectful of that, and anyway you talk in your sleep so it really isn't hard to put your past together my son."

"Father honestly I would love to go home but, there is just to many things that I can't face back there and it has only gotten worse since I left. No none back home will want anything to do with me ever since I screwed up and took off I haven't gone back. In fact at one point I swore to never return even though I do technically do still own my childhood home, my mom left it to me when she passed a couple years ago. Now it sits uninhabited as far as I know."

"My son my advice is that life is full challenges and adversity and we always have choices that will define what will make us right now you have a choice. You obviously cannot stay where you are now you can run off to some random=m spot and try to get by or you can follow what your heart is trying to tell you to do and sometimes that is the best indicator that we have. We just have to look inside of ourselves and say am I happy if the answer is yes then you are in the correct place doing the right thing for yourself, but if the answer is no you have to truly ask yourself what I want. And truly you want to return home and see if you can find some kind of closure to your past mistakes so that you can finally move on with your life whether it be in your home or it be just a temporary stop on a broader journey for your happiness. So right now you need to take these keys that I have to a 1978 Chevele that is parked in the back alley and drive yourself out of this place while you still have the chance." With that I took the clue as he glanced through a window behind the priest and noticed a nun distracting two thugs from the pick's gang. I stood up threw on a shirt hugged the priest grabbed the keys and slid out the back window into the back alley.

Now there was just the minor mission of trying to find the bags. I know I threw them into a vent that was above my head and attached to a church. I looked and looked through the alley but was coming up empty. Until I noticed the bright light of the cross that had brought me to the realization of the church the night of the running in the first place so I turned around and sure enough there was the vent. I popped off the cover and grabbed the bags. Running to the car and threw them into the back and I headed to the highway and got on. Taking the time while I'm driving to open the bag of drugs grab some powder and shovel it into my nose. Speeding down the interstate I stated top yell out the window "Woo!" That will definitely get me through on the way there oh yeah "HERE WE GO SEATTLE HERE I COME! "

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><p><strong>Review if you want<strong>


	5. The journey home part 1

****I promise that soon there will be other characters from the show than just fred but the next two chapters are his journey back to Seattle****

**So here is ch5 **

** The Journey home part 1**

**I don't own anything but the story concepts involved**

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><p>I had been driving for like 18 hours when I got to Chicago and even with all the drugs I still was bored as hell. Driving cross country by yourself sure is boring, so I decided to go ahead and get a room in Chicago and see what kind of action I could find for myself. I pulled into a hotel and secured myself a room and quickly hopped into the shower sure that I was carrying the stench of the road on me. I hopped out of the shower and looked in the mirror the man I saw looking back at me just doesn't look like me. The long brown hair that is pas my ears creeping along my neck and the scruffy beard that shades my face are a far cry the clean shaven face I used to rock back in high school. But I guess back then I also didn't have the tattoo of a dark angel with flowing locks and demon horns reaching along my entire right shoulder onto my back, chest, and arm. She has her arms outstretched across the wings that are black with a menacing grin and the most gorgeous flowing locks of hair with two horns coming out the top of her head. I got it about two years ago and people always ask me what it means I always tell them that it means that I saw it on a wall when I was high as balls and thought it looked sweet so I got it slapped on my shoulder and change the subject. I also had become a bit of a work out fiend and had become a bit more muscular over the years I mean it really helps in this industry to be physically imposing over people plus chicks did the guy with the muscles. As I was sitting on the bed I started to realize that I had no clothes other than the sweats that weird old prelist had given me along with that awesome chevelle. So I threw them on grabbed a wad of cash and headed to the nearest store to get some essentials.<p>

When I got back to the room I threw some clothes on that were more appropriate for going out to a club, hey if I'm in chi town I'm going to party while I'm here. I rolled up a J with some green I had picked up while around town and sat back and hit it while unwinding and goggling local hot spots I could go and check out that would be pretty close to the hotel, I don't want to venture to far not knowing the city that well. After finding a few prospects I looked over towards the bed and saw the duffel I grabbed from Murph's house. Thinking back to that night that changed everything as I took another slow hit off the joint, "shit Murph man I'm so sorry I did that man" I said to the air before I slowly got up reached into the bag and lined up two lines of powder before I bent down and made them disappear. After which I just exploded and flipped the table over and threw lamp that was behind me across the room while a couple of tears slowly escaped my eyes. I turned and check myself in the mirror making sure that my hair was in order and that my gear was all in order, at this point I was starting to bounce of the walls so it was time to roll out into the evening and see what the night had for me.

After some walking I found myself at this dance club joint which I didn't pay attention to the name of. Once in I headed straight to the bar and posted up and scanned the room for the talent that was in the joint this evening. Appeared to be an even ratio split between girls and guys, there seemed to be a lot of attention going towards the dance floor where a couple of cuties where really getting down with crazy moves wow that is for later after a few drinks. That's when the bar tender came up "hey man the names Deuce what can I get you?"

"Get me a rum and coke triple shot and a double shot of vodka" he nodded and walked over and made my drinks came back over "that will be $8.50" I handed him a twenty and he came back with my change but I waved him off to let him keep it. You always want to tip the bar tender well so they make your drinks stronger for you. If tip weak your drinks are weak. I slammed down the vodka and started in on the vodka while making my way around the bar and onto the dance floor. After a good while I headed back the bar for a new drink and when I got back up there the bar tender Deuce was chatting with those two girls from the dance floor earlier one a red head and one a brunet. I saw him kind of point me out of the crowd as I approached. "Deuce my man hit me up with another round and get these two lovely ladies something to drink and how about something for you as well huh" shooting both the girls a wry smile they both just kind of giggled. Deuce came back I handed him a fifty and told him to keep whatever was left over and we all took some shots together. At this moment things started to feel how I like it when I'm out it was starting to get hazy and I feel like I was the king of the freaking world at this moment the three of us kept doing shots for a bit before they went to dance again and I went to go and use the bathroom.

On my way back out to the main part of the bar I slipped out a side alley so that I could go ahead and renew my energy levels with a little powder boost. Just as I was inhaling my sweet bliss I heard commotion coming and a girl start screaming, I immediately went into panic mode and threw my stuff into my pocket. Shit of course I get caught man I'm such a careless bastard doing it in public like this I was just asking to get caught shit. Quickly I flipped around to see who had gotten the drop on me only to see that I was in fact not the reason for the scream. It was the brunette from inside man what was her name I just couldn't remember she was having some kind of confrontation with a guy.

"damn it Brad I told you we are over and I don't want to be with you anymore you just have to get over it!" she hollered at him as he loomed over her "Well I just don't think that I can do that you see you are mine and you always will be mine" right then he grabbed her and pushed her against the wall and started to paw at her short skirt. Out of instinct I felt this rage boil over in me and I leapt forward tackling him to the ground and started to level down punches from atop the mounted position just throwing haymakers seeing the face of everything I had ever done on this man. I just kept throwing punch after punch until I got up at which point I started to stomp a mud hole into him and just couldn't stop myself as tears boiled over I was seeing pure red at this point. I backed up got a running start and kicked him straight in the face. The girl grabbed me and started screaming "don't kill him he's not worth it he's not worth it." Suddenly I started to be able to concentrate again and I got down next to him on the ground and he was bleeding profusely at this point. "Listen very closely to me you dirt bag this girl and any one she cares about are under my protection and I have killed bigger badder aholes then you so if you ever come near any of them and I catch wind of it I will come back and I will straight kill you got that" I was talking with a coldness that I didn't even realize that I had in me when I noticed him just slowly nodding his head at me. I stood and dusted myself off. "I don't think this guy will bother you anymore" she jumped into a hug with me making my baggy fall out of my coat pocket and just then we saw the lights from cop car coming. She looked down at what had just fallen to the ground and then her eyes went back up and met mine and we both then turned and looked towards the cops heading our way. At this moment I am so screwed it is not even funny but all of a sudden she grabs the baggy and shoves it into her bag then grabs my hand and pulls me down another alley as we are running from alley to alley until we reached an apartment building which assumed is where she lived.

When we got up to her apartment I sat on the couch while she went into the kitchen and fetched us some drinks. When she came back into the living room she handed me a glass of water and a bag of peas to which I shot her a what the hell stare she pointed towards my hand and I looked down noticing that my hand was starting to swell after beating off that dudes face. I just nodded my thanks to her.

She was first to break the silence when she pulled my baggy out of her purse "So is this why you were out in the alley tonight?" I just nodded to her she looked at me sideways then back at the bag. "You ever tried any before?" I asked she shook her head no. "Well if you want to you just saved my ass it up to you, but if you ask me I would suggest you don't. But I don't believe in giving advice and I aint here to be your hero or your savior so the option is here if you want it." She just stared at me for a moment before she threw the bag to me "line it up I want to see what it is like just this once not to follow the rules, I mean I ALWAYS follow the rules and what does that get me? Huh? Almost raped is what it gets me if it weren't for that little powder and you I would have had the worst night of my life so line it up my new friend whose name I am way too drunk to remember at this particular moment."

I looked around and found a picture frame that would serve as a great surface as which we could free base from. It was a picture of this brunette and her little red head friend from earlier tonight at some kind of dance show oh well bout to get high as hell. I poured enough power out to make four lines my two lines were significantly bigger than hers seeing as it was her first time I didn't want to give her too much and over load her. Once I had made the lines I pulled a hundred out of my pocket and rolled it into the form of a tube and showed her how to take the lines up. As she took her lines she had a typical reaction and felt teary and as if she had something stuck in her throat I assured her it would pass. As we sat there she just stared at me twirling her hair in her fingers shaking a little bit. Slowly we started to move closer together until we were sitting face to face. She leans forward and whispers in a real throaty voice "If I haven't said it let me say it now thank you" with those words being said our lips crash together and I'm quickly sweeping her off of the couch and into her bedroom slamming her into the bed losing all of our clothes along the way.

Upon waking in the morning I found that the brunette was no longer beside me man she rebounded faster than me after the three rounds last night. I dragged myself out of bed and started to head out to the bathroom when I heard a hush argument going on between little red and the brunette from last night as well as a couple of dudes that I didn't recognize wait one of them was that bar tender Deuce. Currently red was talking. "Rock what happened you just disappeared last night then we find Brad beaten almost to death in the alley behind the bar." Brunette was just sitting on the couch taking the hits and had obviously not alerted them to my presence in the bedroom as that might make things a little worse considering I don't even know her name and I don't think she knows mine. She retorted quickly though "well I got tired so I just came home and crashed you know I didn't even see Brad last night" Then the guy I didn't know chimed in "really sis well why then when me and CeCe came here to check on you all we found was some tables knocked over and this picture frame sitting on the coffee table obviously coated in drugs?" Oh shit that would be my cue to get out of here sorry brown eyes but I got to get back on the road. I threw my clothes back on and strolled back out into the living room from her room all of them just staring at me I pulled her to her feet and kissed her deep and long placing into her pocket of her robe my email address and a little more product for her help. Releasing her I just stared into her eyes and stated "you were one of the funniest chicks I have ever met in my life don't you ever change I'm just sorry I can't be your hero but I have to continue my journey onward but we will always have last night." I kissed her again turned and nodded to the rest of people all of which staring at me the two guys both looking as though they were ready to murder me and made my hasty retreat getting back to the hotel and back onto the road. Just one more stop before I get to Seattle three days and I'll be back home I don't know if I'm ready for that.


	6. The journey home part 2

**So here is ch 6 **

**the Journey home part 2 **

**Really would like to know if people are liking this at all  
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**Disclaimer i only own my own imagination and the crazy thoughts popping up in there**

**update i decided to redo the end of this chapter as I didn't like how i ended the chapter previously so there is now a new ending to this chapter if you read it previously just reread the end the rest of the chapter remained the same. alright continue o with the story and an update should be coming soon.  
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><p>I pulled into Las Vegas and quickly got myself a room at this casino resort called the Montecito and quickly hopped into bed not getting much sleep the night before. When I woke I was no longer in my hotel room I was back in my old bedroom complete with the galaxy wars posters and bed sheets and I swear I can even hear my mother hovering about the house cleaning . Get it together Freddie she is dead you can't be home you are just tripping on something you have to be, but it is so real. I look down at my right shoulder and my angel demon is gone and so are my muscles. I collapse back onto my bead and run my hands through my hair which is short like it was when I was seventeen. What the hell is going on? Just then I heard some movement coming from outside my window on the fire escape oh man the fire escape, focus man focus. I slowly crept to check what was what going on out there and as I approached the window and peaked my head out I saw a blonde head bobbing up and down in hands obviously crying. I bolt out the window and immediately take her into my arms; it feels so good to be this close to her slowly rubbing her back. "Sam what's wrong why are you crying what happened?"<p>

She looked up at me "as if you don't know already" she then scooted away from me and continued to cry. "I really don't know but I can't do anything if you don't tell me." She looked me straight in the eyes with her electric blue eyes and a bolt of energy shot into me that I hadn't felt in so long. Then she punched me in the face. "You made me cry you nub it all because of you why did you have to do that huh why did you do it Freddie?" I just sat there staring at here with no answer as she faded and kept asking me the say question over and over again why did you do it?

I awoke in my hotel bed with a start, shit it had been a dream man I need to get high and ditch these freaking thoughts like now so I made myself a few nice lines and snorted them up rolled a joint smoked it and hit the shower. Once dressed I hit the casino floor and started gambling for a while mostly for the drinks the give you to open your wallets up, But soon I was bored of the gambling and decided I would go and find myself a more interesting place to spend my time.

I arrived at this dirty strip club at the edge of the strip and decided that it looked like it could be some fun and went in and started to order drinks and dances upon dances not long after getting there I was the most popular guy there because I had money and I wasn't afraid to spend that money hey I had a whole bag full of cash back in the room what were a few bills here and there. This one girl that was there didn't seem to fit in and I was drawn to her beautiful flowing red hair and free flowing happy attitude. Once her shift ended we decided to get out of there and we went back to my hotel room.

"So what is your real name then honey?" she just giggled a bit while snorting up a line. "It's Cat like the animal you know the house pets?" I just laughed and hit the joint we had rolling at the moment. "Well Cat my name is Freddie it's nice to formally meet you outside of your work that is." She just looked down solemnly at that moment, "What something I said?" I asked. "oh no it's just that this is a far cry from what I thought I would be doing with myself at this point, I was supposed to be an actress you know" with that she started to dance around the room while smoking on the joint "but then my boyfriend choose a shrew and I bolted leaving my friends and my school and now I'm owned by a very mean man who won't let me go." I just stared at her knowing the exact feeling that she has. "Yeah that is exactly why I'm booking it back to Seattle I was owned by this guy but now I'm getting out and I'm going back home to make shit right." Just then she straddled me and slid my shirt off putting the joint into my mouth and kissing me. Looking me straight in the eyes "take me with you please" she begs as she starts to gnaw on my neck and remove her own shirt. "I can't do that girl I'm not your hero I'm no one's hero I can't be taking on straggler for this journey." With that we were off to the bed.

I once again had the same dream this time I was surrounded by all my old friends asking me why over and over just asking me why and not listening to any kind of explanation that I offered I just kept shrinking in size while they kept on growing and growing and I was slowly getting crushed until I awoke suddenly and I flew to the table and snorted up a couple of lines in record time Cat was sitting up in bed staring at me with a very confused look on her face. I just shrugged ran my hands through my hair and headed for the shower she was quickly behind me into the shower for a little extra morning fun. While I was packing one of my bags up with the drugs I noticed that I still had the AK sitting there with a mag loaded into it as I was staring at it the door burst open and three big thug looking men came running in and one grabbed Cat.

"so you think you can just ditch out on a night of work huh bitch it don't work like that not when you work for me got it?" she just shook her head and started to sob.

"Hey who the fuck do you prick do you think you are breaking into my hotel room like this"

He started to laugh at me and retorted "I'm Johnny Z and this is my ho you got it so you can't just roll up and hit this without paying me for the privileges of hittin this first got it dick weed?"

"Ah so you're the mean man Cat was telling me about before?" I started to laugh "Well Cat I can definitely see why you wouldn't be satisfied being with this guy"

His face started to turn bright shade of red "hey asshole I don't think you know who you were messing with here"

Cat started to cry out "Freddie he's right you shouldn't get involved he will kill you you should just leave."

"Well now I don't think I'm gonna do that you see you're a sweet girl and your fun and this guy is a total douche and I really really hate douche bags so you see I'm kind of obligated here to intercede in this situation and stop this asshole from doing anything else douche ever again, I mean it really is just my civic duty."

He threw Cat down onto the floor "well those are big words from some young little piece of trash that is just passing through town; you really think you can take me and two of my men. You are and arrogant little bastard aren't you?"

"Well you sir may call it arrogance I call it stating future events in factual statement form."

At that moment he signaled his men and they all started to draw but I was quicker and had my AK and was pumping three round bursts into each one of them dropping them in no time flat. After the fire fight I took a few deep breathes before being enveloped by Cat in a deep passionate kiss. As we separated I started to focus on getting out of there since people would definitely have heard the shots going off. Thankfully I always stayed under alias names so I would never be traced goes back to my drug running days and my techy days I'm always paranoid that someone is following me.

"Here are the keys grab the bags and put them in the car I'll you down there in fifteen minutes and we will get out of here."

Cat stared at me with a sideways look that she always seemed to be giving me but I was really starting to find it cute. "Does this mean you're taking me with you?"

I rubbed my face and sighed heavily "Yeah I guess that it does you can come with me but you are on your own once we get to Seattle, I'm on my own journey right now I can't be your hero Cat."

She let out a loud scream and hopped up and down "kk."

She took off with the bags to the car while I did a little clean up in the room to hide the bodies and gave the room a good once over with acid wash to kill any prints or forensic evidence left in the room and went to check out at the front desk noticing a bald black man and taller white man from security scanning the floor obviously trying to figure out what had gone down with the alleged gun fire earlier this evening. Once checked out I hopped in the car and we got rolling onto the highway.

About 21 hours later we were pulling into Seattle and I was looking for a hotel to drop Cat off at. "So do you have any preferences on where you are gonna stay?"

She looked at me with a pouty face "I don't see why I can't just crash with you?"

"I told you I can't be your hero besides I got a whole lot of other shit that I'm working through now that back home, so I really don't mind paying to give you a place to stay until you get on your feet and you'll have my number so we chill anytime so you won't be alone ok." As I said this I brushed I strand of her fiery red hair from her face behind her ear and stared into her eyes. She just smiled "wherever is fine as long as it's close to you and not a dump please."

"That's not a problem" we leaned together and kissed both so very high that only dogs could possibly hear us at this moment.

As I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel cat would be staying in and helped her get all checked in I started to say my good byes when she grabbed my hand and pulled me into a kiss and whispered into my ear "you know it was a long drive you should probably come up to my room and take to rejuvenate medicines and rest with me." She had this devilish grin on her face that was drawing me in close to her we kissed again and I responded "Why Caterina Valentine are you trying to seduce me?"

She just smiled "Why can you be seduced?"

I kissed her again "absolutely I can and I think that you have a great idea popping in that pretty little head of yours." With that we were off to here room were we remained for the rest of the evening doing drugs and having sex all night and into the morning. I again awoke to a nightmare similar to the previous two nights and quickly suppressed the thoughts with the miracle powder and some morning fun with Cat before saying my goodbyes and heading to my car. Damn I do love this car the priest gave me a 1978 cherry red Chevelle just a dream to drive such an awesome car that I can't believe someone just gave it to me for no real reason.

When I pulled up to Bushwell plaza I couldn't believe my eyes I wasn't dreaming it was really in front of me I was really home for the first time in six years I back at Bushwell plaza. I walked in the front doors and was flooded by memories of messing with Lewbert skits and all the times I had met my friend and parents in this very lobby in the years I had grown up. It looked the same but yet it seemed different was the lobby different or was it me that was now different. Maybe it was a little of both I mean it had been six years. The elevator ride was nice and calm but once I was off the elevator and walking down the hallway where so much had happened to me in my younger years I was hit with a wave of emotion and just stopped. Maybe I shouldn't be here it's been too long should I turn back? No it's too late I got to press forward to my old front door and I insert the key in the door and slowly opened it not knowing what to expect to be on the other side. I find darkness on the other side of the door and drop my bad to the floor and go to the couch and sit with all my memories flooding in from all sides.

As the darkness crept all around me and I was drowning in a pit of self-misery thinking of my loving doting mother who is gone for good, and all the fun and crazy times we had shared in this vary living room I started to feel just how high I really was. This doesn't always happen only when my mind wants to try and stress me out do I start to feel my high going bad. Tears started to threaten to fall from my eyes, it had been over six years since I had been in this place and I had done everything possible to avoid thinking about it I even refused to acknowledge my mother being ill and the invitation I received to come to her funeral. It was for the best though as all I ever do is bring immense pain down among anyone who dares to be near me. After all I choose to move all the way across the country to get away from this place and the things I had hands trembled as I thought of the pain I had brought with me and I quickly started to reach for my escape hatch.

BANG

I shot to my feet and started to spin around to see who had gotten the jump on me. It could be someone from Frankie's organization or one of those Vegas guys coming for their revenge. Hell it could even be someone from Chicago coming for me. Of course I realize that this is just a part of my life now, it comes with all the decisions that I have made and that is why I always have my pistol on me in my belt holster ever so hidden along my back, so unnecessary attention to myself but I am always ready to put up a fight. Once I had turned I started to draw my gun out of the holster when the lights came on in a flash and I was standing face to face with someone I wasn't ready to face.


	7. Squatter

**The** **next chapter is here and now we start to get to see some other characters from the show getting involved. as well as Freddies new friend**

**as always I welcome any comments and reviews to know what you like so i can do more of that for you.**

**I own nothing I promise especially not the show ICarly or any characters referenced in the story, but i do own that whacked out story ideas.  
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><p>I just stood there staring in front of me as my hand relaxed off of my gun and slowly slid back to my side not believing that of all the places in the world I'm going to see someone from my past it's right in my own living room when I'm tripping off my ass on a weird high. Slowly a smile crept to my face as the thought that I really was home entered my brain and just to prove that stood Gibby in all his glory giving me the strangest look that I can ever remember slowly he started to move towards me with one arm raised as he slowly circled me and in the hand above his head there was shoe ready to be swung at the person that had obviously interested his evening.<p>

He stared and then slowly started to speak "Who are you and what do you think you are doing here?" he didn't even recognize me here I was standing right in front of one of my best friends for over half my life and he didn't even recognize me. Well I guess I can't really blame him as most of the time I don't even recognize myself.

"Easy there bro, no need to shoe me to death ok" I started to crack up laughing as I said it, I really just couldn't help myself as the sight of a shirtless Gibby threatening me with what appeared to be a cheap running shoe in what was my childhood home was just too much for me to handle. Soon I was just in a fit of laughter and had such a euphoric feeling flowing through my body that I collapsed back onto the couch. He just continued to stare at me with a dumbfounded look on his face and appeared as though he was starting to get a little bit agitated.

"Hey man you better get out of here I don't want to have to hurt you and I really don't think that this is worth the trouble ok so can you just like leave or something?" at that moment the thought popped up that I could just leave and not have to actually deal with any of this I could just disappear into the night and just be another weird Gibby story for him to tell to his friends about a random guy he had threatened with a shoe and got to leave, but where would I go there was nowhere left to run and hide this was probably the safest place for a murderer like myself. To just hide out in plain sight where no one from my life would even have any idea to even look. I mean if Gibby only knew that while he was threatening me I was seconds away from having my gun out and just blowing him away if it wasn't for the fact that he had turned on the lights I may have killed another friend of mine. No I had to stay and I had to find a way to explain everything to him without giving away too much of the incriminating information that was trapped in my mind tearing me apart from within.

He continued to stare before yelling out "Seriously what the hell is your problem this isn't your home you need to leave now!" such true words I wish I could head his warning but I can't it was time to face the proverbial music and just get it out.

I quietly whispered out "But this is my home" as I said this I stared into his eyes as if I was trying to reach into his soul and yell at him it's me Freddie your friend without actually having to say it. His eyes just narrowed obviously trying to figure out what my game was and in true Gibby fashion he was totally missing my signals of who I was. So I finally just blurted it out "It's me Gibb, its Freddie. Man it's me fucking Fredward Benson, you were one of my best friends and this is my home so you are the one who needs to explain what in the hell you are doing here to me!"

His mouth just dropped open and his eyes went wide gazing in my direction. The shoe that was raised far above his head in his right hand slipped from his hand and fell to the floor. He just continued to stand there staring at me until he finally moved towards me. Instinctively I reached for my gun but silently scolded myself not to do it and within seconds I was enveloped into a huge bear hug.

"Freddie, man I thought you were dead man it is so good to see you." Certainly not the reaction I was expecting to get out of him, but I guess I could take it except that he was now squeezing the air straight out of my lungs.

I squirmed and gasped out "Well I'm not dead but I will be soon if you don't let go." he immediately dropped the hold and took three steps back away from me. "I can't believe that you are here Freddie it's been so long since you left town." I just stood there with a dumb smirk on my face. "So man what the fuck happened to you man, you just straight up disappeared into the either man." I wasn't ready to answer that yet, but I have to say something. "I was just traveling around man went to school for a minute then just traveled the country getting by how I could." Half true I did in fact travel the country in the past five days after all. He just smiled and nodded in agreement with me.

"Well it's really good to see you alive and well?" he said the last part like a question. "You look so different man, like nothing close to what you did when we were growing up in school you know." Oh I did know what he meant, more than he even knew. "Yeah Gibb I'm doing well just decided to come back home for bit and recharge the batteries. So I came in using my key since mom left this place to me, but that does not answer the question of what it is you are doing here."

"I live here bro." this was a bit shocking to me I had not planned on anyone being here since I was the one who owned the place and all. I couldn't risk having someone around getting in my way and going through all my shit.

"You can't live here this is my place, who do you think you are just squatting in my home you freaking think you can just live here without permission because you can't you moron." Wow that came out a lot harsher than I meant it. His face just dropped and he looked confused. "I'm sorry Gibb you just surprised me and I'm really just looking to have a quiet place to myself right now you know."

He just gave me this look that could kill shooting daggers at me. "Oh and I guess it's just all about you huh? It doesn't matter what else might be going on because poor Freddie is having some kind of life issue and needs everyone to bow freaking down to him. Well you know what Fred I have been living here for the better part of the last three years cleaning up your mess man. When your mom got sick and you couldn't be bothered to even show your face you know who was here with her taking care of her? Do you know? Well it definitely wasn't her beloved son no instead she had to lean on her son's friends and your mother bless her heart took me in when I had nowhere else to go. and I am the one who sat with her until she passed assuring her that her selfish arrogant ass of a son was a good man and did love her and there must be some kind of huge gap in his life causing him to not come and be with his dying mother!" he was enraged don't think I had ever seen him this upset I must have really hit a nerve. "So that when she finally did go Lewbert was nice enough to let me stay provided that I pay for the room. And that Fred is what I'm F'n doing here ok?" tears had started to come out from his eyes while he was screaming at me.

"OK man I get it you're not a squatter." I slowly ran my right hand through my hair while I thought about what Gibb had told me. I never imagined that he had sat with my mom while she was dying and never in a million years did I think she would have wanted to see me after I left. But Gibb seems to think she was asking to see me and I never came. Damn it I owe him for what he did. "Gibb, do you want to stay. I mean I am moving in here but there are two rooms and I guess it could be some fun to have you as a roommate." He just smiled and hugged me again; I was definitely going to have to set up some boundaries on this whole hugging thing.

I slowly made my way to the master bedroom and unpacked all of my clothes that I had brought with me, really not much at all. Going over to the far corner of the room in the walk in closet I found a panel of the roof that I could pop out and threw my duffel containg my oh so precious cargo and the duffel that carried all the money I had brought with me. It was best to make sure that these were not anywhere in plain sight. Once I made sure that the roof panel was placed back in properly Gibby popped in and informed me that he had ordered some Chinese takeout and it had arrived if I wanted to join him for a welcome back dinner. I agreed but said I would be out in a minute as I wanted to freshen up a bit from the road. Again a half-truth I did take a shower quickly and change my clothes but it also gave me the perfect chance to go ahead and refresh my high with a couple of lines. Which I quickly got myself back up into the clouds and went down to the kitchen to join him for the food. We sat and chatted about random stuff reminiscing about the old days skirting around any reference to the other members of our foursome when we were growing up. Until I finally couldn't take it anymore "How are they Gibb?"

He just looked at me knowingly "They are good man really good." That was all I needed to know for now as I had a smile creep onto my face, and we continued on with our light hearted dinner until my phone buzzed.

From:

Cat: hey u busy?

Freddie: just getting settled in, u

Cat: I'm bored need Ur help to get unbored lol

Freddie: don't think tonight is good

Cat: please I don't know anyone around here and need to do someone fun ;)

Freddie: alright I'll be over in twenty so we can have some fun

Cat: Yay can't wait for u to get here

"Gibb I'm going out for a bit, a friend came into town with me and she doesn't really know anyone around here so I'm gonna go and chill with her at her hotel." Gibby just laughed a bit and nodded his approval of my plans. "Hey if you see anyone don't…you know just let me be the one to reveal my being here."

"You got it Fred mum is the word for tonight, but I can't guarantee you that I can keep it under wraps for too long, so the sooner you man up the better for me ok?" I just laughed and nodded while grabbing my keys and slipping into my room to grab a stash to take over to the hotel. I waved my goodbye on my way out the door. In the hallway the door across from mine was opening and out walked a kid bouncing a basketball. We walked to the elevator together and for some reason it felt uncomfortable to ride in silence maybe it was the drugs I was carrying or the fact that he had come out of the former shay apartment bringing back memories of myself coming and going through that door. Once down in the lobby the little brunette kid bounce his ball on out into the back where there was a hoop and he started shooting. I shook my head to clear it out and headed to my car. Upon arriving at the hotel I went right to Cat's room and knocked. She opened the door wearing a light pink nighty with her bright red lips smiling reaching out and grabbing me pulling me into the room for a night of debauchery.


	8. 3 mornings

**_Well hello there I'm here with another chapter. sorry it took so long went through a bad period with my ex-girlfriend and was homeless for a month. but I'm back on track now so I can come back to my story now._  
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**_I decided to use Gibby for another pov in this chap not sure if that will continue let me know if you think it should. also may stop using the first person view point not sure but just wanted to let you know that the story format may change here in the future. _  
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**_Alright I've gone on too long now back to the story p.s. by the end of next chap all the main characters should be in the story finally. enjoy_  
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><p><strong>Las Vegas, NV<strong>

**Montecito hotel and resort**

Danny McCoy was going through another day as president of operations for the Montecito. Overseeing all the happenings of the hotel and its employees, the job kept him busy but, his wife and child kept him even busier. That is why he always had a certain enjoyment of the first few moments that he gets to work nothing is usually happening at the casino in the morning and he gets to have a few moments to himself, like the few docile moments that he was experiencing at this very moment. Suddenly his phone started to ring. Answering the phone he immediately knew that his plans for a quiet easy morning had gone all but out the window.

"This is Danny"

"Danny, its Mike we have a problem in one of the rooms." Mike Cannon the head of Security for the Montecito was on the other end of the line and was obviously distraught. "One of the maids entered a room that has had a do not disturb sign on it for the past couple of days and found three dead bodies piled up in here, now I already did some checking with the Metro police and their coroner. He says the bodies have been there at least forty eight hours, which would put the time of death around the same time that all those noise complaints came in two days ago."

"Alright Mike keep checking into it and we will see if we can figure out who killed those guys and keep the Montecito reputation intact all at the same time, but the only way to do that is to catch the killer and make sure that they pay dearly for it. That will serve as deterrent for any future murderers not to do it in the Montecito. I gotta call Cooper and update him, then I will meet up with you." As he hung up Danny ran his hand through his hair knowing that his whole day was now shot. He took out his phone and dialed the owner of the casino Cooper to let him know what was going on.

**Seattle, WA**

_**Bushwell Plaza**_

**Gibby POV**

My alarm went off and tore me from my dreams of a shirtless polo game in which I was dominating. I slowly pulled myself from my bed put a pot of coffee on in the kitchen and went to take a shower. As I showered I couldn't help but feel uneasy about the new development of my living situation and surreal evening I had just lived through last night. I was just hanging out in my apartment innocently enough when Freddie showed up on my couch laughing at me. As I finished the shower and dried myself off I found myself staring into the mirror. Freddie just looks so different with his longer hair and the beard that he has going, but not only that he is just different. I really can't explain why he seems so different it's just that he was so, well I don't know but it is definitely not the same Freddie that left here six years ago. This made me wonder as I stared into the mirror if I had changed that much. I mean I still wear my hair roughly the same as high school, I guess that I am in better shape these days but other than that I really couldn't see as much change in myself. I guess some people just change more than others. With a shrug to myself in the mirror I left the bathroom and threw on a short sleeve flannel shirt with a pair of jeans and grabbed a cup of coffee while taking a seat on the couch. Looking around it appeared as though Freddie had never come home from his night of hanging with a friend. I really hope Freddie intends to tell the girls soon because I meant what I said I won't lie and really I should tell them that he is in town but I did promise him that I wouldn't and it is going to cause a lot of stuff to get stirred up again since he left town on some very bad circumstances. All I can do is try to stay out of any fighting and be there for my friends. My thoughts suddenly were interrupted with the ringing of my phone.

"Hey it's good to talk to you we need to talk about a recent development."

**Freddie POV**

Damn nightmares have to haunt me every night, but almost always I a different for always ending with the question. The question that I ask myself at every turn now no matter what I do. The only recourse that I have is my magic powder that relaxes the pain away and gets me ready for anything that will come my. Really I just feel invincible when I have it and I don't ever want to give up that feeling of being in complete control of my pain and my entire existence. The door to the room swung open and I immediately went to cover the table in front of me to make sure that no one would see the contents, until I realized that it was just Cat.

"Jesus Cat you almost gave me a heart attack over here."

"Sorry" she said it with her cute pouty face staring at me with doe eyes. I just grinned my apology and patted on the couch next to me. She sauntered over to me carrying a cardboard carton of something.

"Whatcha got there?" She cocked her head and stared at me blankly for a moment until I gestured toward the carton that she had in her grasp. She looked down at it and let out a spurt of small giggles.

"Oh, I went out to get us some coffee and bagels while you were still sleeping." She sat the carton down on the table as she took her place on the couch and bent down to do the lines that had so nicely set out for her. After which she leaned back on the couch and turned to look at me.

"So, why did we come to Seattle again?"

"Well I came to Seattle because it is my home and I have people here that I care about whether they know it or not and whether or not they even want to see me. Plus the best thing to do when you're running and the people who are chasing you have no actual idea who you are is to just live a normal life under the radar and not draw unwanted attention, so with the help of this priest I decided to come back here. You on the other hand are a conundrum.

"A condom, I don't think that I can possibly be a condom."

"No, no a con-un-drum, you know a mystery. Basically it means that I don't know why the hell you are here. I mean freed you from the guys in Vegas and even gave you a ride out of that town, so you tell me why you are here."

She shifted slightly in her seat and sat silent for a minute. "Uh…well…I guess I figured that you made me feel safer than I have felt in a really long time, and I really just didn't want to lose that feeling of safety. I also have nowhere else I can go." with this she started to well up with tears so I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed her. She kissed back immediately and passionately and jumped on top of me running her hands all over me. I reciprocated and removed the slinky sundress from her.

Later that afternoon we were on our way to lunch after we had worked up extraordinary appetites. I didn't really know where to go since it had been so long since I had been in town that I didn't know the good spots to go to get lunch in private anymore. Since I had only told Gibby that I'm in town I really didn't want to risk a run in with anyone that could possibly know me. I decided on a small old school diner complete with booths and a jukebox machine called Garden of Paradise.

"Oooh is this were we are going Fred, it looks like such weird but awesome place to eat. You think street tuffs still hang out at the jukebox like in movies?"

"No I really don't think that there are any street tuffs waiting to start a turf war with me" I said this and we both broke into a laugh, which felt really good since I don't seem to do it much anymore.

"Well it wouldn't matter anyway you are probably going to be the toughest one in there anyway let them try to mess with you. You would lay smackdown on those pathetic macaronis" She did a motion with her arms flailing about and punching a fist into an open hand while making swoosh and boom sounds. Once parked we found a moment to go ahead and reestablish our high's so we broke out our party favors and ingested enough for a small party to get high, making ourselves impervious to the on goings of the mad world we find ourselves in most of the time.

As we walked through he parking lot neither of us could keep our hands to ourselves as I repeatedly grabbed her ass and she would do the same. Upon reaching the door we had to have a make out session really quickly or not quickly I'm not really sure. Once inside we just couldn't stop ourselves, as we were both caught in a high that was making us really horny. We waited at the sign that indicated that a server would seat us.

"Man I can't wait to get this food in me then we are going back to the hotel and work this energy off" I stated for anyone within earshot.

"Yeah me neither I am just SO EXCITED FOR THIS!" Cat exuded while jumping up and down in place like a malfunctioning clapping monkey toy.

"You are so hot girl you know that" I started looking her up and down licking my lips and biting my lower lip.

"Well if your good maybe we won't have to wait until we leave to work out this energy" winking at me and looking towards the restrooms directly to the right of where we are currently located. It was at this moment that I realized just how high we were and that most people around us could probably tell that there was something wrong with these two crazy people that can't keep their hands off of each other and are talking very loud and fast. But I really could care less in this moment what all the judgmental jerks in this city thought of him. From behind they were called by their server.

"Table for two?"

"Ye…" I started to respond with a yeah and turn to face the waitress that would be serving us our food, but once I completed my turn I could not finish my sentence. My eyes fell upon a pair of electric blue eyes looking back at me. I became lost in the eyes that I used to hold so dear and a shiver ran though my spine as I was a mere two feet from the beautiful and complicated blonde headed demon that I fought with for half my life. As I tore my eyes from hers I took in the flowing blonde locks that were so carefully pinned up into a sloppy bun. She looked so good that I am rendered completely speechless. Everything else in the diner disappeared for the single moment as we both took each other in. then the moment came to an end, so I decided to say the only thing I could seem to muster up in this moment.

"S…Sa…Sam it's been a minute" forcing a stupid smile onto my face. Then everything went black with a fist connecting with my face.

* * *

><p><em><strong>alright there it is Sam is waiting tables and has just knocked out a very high fred but what must Cat be thinking. And why is her first reaction to hit him? only one way to find out me to get off my glutes and write it out. <strong>_

_**till next time  
><strong>_


	9. Knockout Breakfast

**well hello not sure if u care but i decided to update this story. sorry if I'm not quick but I was homeless for awhile and the inspiration just left me but now that I was just crushed by yet another significant other I am feeling it again kind of a shitty way to be inspired but hey gotta role with it right. alright enough with this note and on to the story**

Light started to filter into my eyes as my senses started to return. My eyes opened to sight of the ceiling overhead and it was then that I noticed that Cat was yelling in the direction towards Sam, flailing around making an even bigger scene than a waitress dropping a customer in the entrance of the restaurant. Slowly I staggered back to my feet, and immediately went to restrain Cat before she got in over her head with Sam. First I tried to get between the two and after being threatened with a potential shot to my man region I quickly retreated while Cat was chewing into Sam about striking some stranger in a restaurant where she worked. Too me and anyone else with any kind of sense for these things you could clearly see that the two of us are clearly tweaked up from some sort of drug and I knew that we needed to leave and leave now so I grabbed Cat by the waist, slung her over my shoulder and carried her out of the building. When I turned to open the door with my rear and dig for the car keys at the same time I noticed Sam staring right at us with a look of shock, and dismay written all over her face. But once I looked up and saw her face our eyes locked and I was immediately bathed in the deep electric blue eyes of one miss Sam Puckett and I could have sworn that once our eyes connected I saw her face soften and it seemed like she was actually glad to see me for one brief second as the world around the two of us seemed to just melt away leaving us the only two in existence. Unfortunately as fast as that look came it left again leaving only hatred and pain on the face of the one and only Sam Puckett .

Once at the car I put Cat back onto her feet.

"Hey what was that? You just yanked me from making a valedictorian point" she stated in a huff posting her hands onto her hips and glaring a hole into my chest.

"I think you mean a 'valid point' not a 'valedictorian point' and second that is way too much hat for either of us to take on" after finishing the sentence I got really close to cat and positioned both my arms around her body to effectively pin her to the car and dropped my voice really low and deep. "Or have you forgotten what it is that I am in the business of selling or what I did in Vegas. Because I didn't and I fucking guarantee that the authorities have not forgotten what happened in that hotel room." Upon finishing my statement I stared into her soul with my mean mug on and she shriveled up more and more with every word that had flowed out of my mouth.

"I get it I really do.." before she could finish her statement I slammed my fist on the top of the roof. "You get it, huh, you get it? You had better get it because I can't always be around to protect you and quite frankly I would just assume kill you if it ever came to that. You reading me?" she just slowly nodded her head towards me and I backed away from her to let her up from the car. She slowly slid into the passenger seat; while I took a couple of deep breathes and started my short walk to the other side of the car to drive. As I opened the door to get into the driver's seat I noticed that Sam was staring out at us and a new look had taken hold of her face a look that I had never seen on her face when she looked at me and that look was fear.

**Seattle, WA**

_**Bushwell Plaza**_

**Gibby POV**

I hung up the phone and started cooking my breakfast. As the eggs were finishing up the door swung open revealing a guest for breakfast. It was a young boy with black hair and brown eyes standing just over 3 feet tall and a little scrawny. The boy immediately lit up upon seeing Gibby and the spread that he was preparing.

"Alright uncle Gibb, that breakfast looks awesome, with a capitol A" the boy stated as he pulled up a chair to the table. Gibby gave the young boy a knowing look.

"And have u washed your hands for the meal lil man? Because you know mine and your mother's rules on washing your hands before meals." the boy dropped his head in shame and slinked off to the sink to wash his hands as he was told. Upon returning to the table he got a knuckle bump and a signature Gibby smile. He immediately hopped into his chair and started woofing down the food. I meanwhile just pondered how this was a daily occurrence him getting upon hours before necessary to make sure that the lil man is fed and off to school at the proper time. Especially since his mother was always working one of her jobs to feed them, so I was fine taking on the responsibility as he felt that is what an uncle is for. I was jarred from my thoughts when an empty plate was presented to me as if I had won it as an award. All I could do was smile gather up our things and head off to drop him off at school, all the while wondering if he would be able to keep up this routine with his new roommate. Really only time would tell.

**I am always seeking feedback and possibly ideas as this all just comes out of my warped mind one thing at a time**


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